Step 1 – Parents Discover How Your Enneagram Type Influences Your Parenting Style

Bobby the Bear parents are usually responsible and dedicated to their roles as caretakers. You encourage your child’s development, provide good boundaries, instill a strong sense of right and wrong and morality. Sometimes when you are less aware, stressed or unhealthy you make take these positive traits to the extreme. You may become overly critical, angry and try to “fix your child” You might use the word “should” too often and become more authoritative. Keep in mind that while being too rigid may control bad behavior it does not teach a child how to self-control, self-soothe, self-discipline or how to take responsibility for themselves.

Two Kayla the Kangaroo parents are often very nurturing and loving. Two parents are the most people oriented of all the Enneagram Types. You often sacrifice your time, energy and resources to help your child. You may even try to fix pain in others that you are unable to see or acknowledge in yourself. Under stress, you may become possessive, prideful, and be unable to move past your own need to needed.

Three Foxy Fox parents are typically super-organized, fun, practical, driven to succeed in all you do, and love to set goals. For your child they need to feel successful right? You are a winner and you want your child to feel the rush that comes from achievement. You strive to be your best so you’ll encourage your child to do the same. You are an extremely efficient parent and can appear emotionally cool. You often act like nothing phases you.
You are self-confident and can get along well with everyone. Sometimes you can push too hard. Don’t let your fear of failure stop your child from trying. Be more patient. You want your child to feel successful now.

Cleo the Cat four parents are typically very caring, classy, empathic and expressive. You are typically introspective and in touch with your feelings and encourage your child to do the same. You enjoy being one to one with your child vs being part of a group. You personally long to express your own individuality and creativity and encourage the same in your child. Fours parents sometimes internalize their emotions and can spend a lot of time focusing on their feelings. Being melancholy is your way of intensifying your feeling, which can lead to being stuck in the past and ruminating over the past. When you are a less healthy four you want to be rescued and your child may feel like they have to parent you.

T-Sheldon Turtle Type five parents are often introverted and may have found parenting difficult. You value your time, space and resources. You are the thinker of all the Enneagram animals. You may say “I think I feel hurt”vs “I feel hurt” Your motto is “knowledge is power”.
You are clever and observant. Five parents teach their children to be curious, watch and observe life. Five parents typically pass on their insights to their children and instill in their child a love of knowledge and strong curiosity.
As a five parent you need to make sure you don’t get too lost in your own projects or find yourself getting annoyed with having to stop for parental responsibilities. Sometimes you may feel drained by kids activities or school functions. Head centered fives may find it difficult to connect with an emotionally sensitive child and find them overly dramatic or overwhelming.
Deb the Loyal Dog six parents are responsible, reliable and loyal. You have a strong undercurrent of anxiety and often see life as full of potential hazards. You are often constantly worrying, and can be pessimistic and catastrophic at times. For six parents trust is a big issue. As much as you battle to trust others
you also question if you can trust yourself. Be careful not to be too overly protective and learn to trust your child.
Less healthy six parents can be polarizing of people or groups. You need to be careful not to see others as the enemy because they think or feel differently than you. Be careful not to overreact as expecting the worse case scenario is stressful for you and your child.

Marla the Monkey seven parents want to grab life and run with it. You’re fun, friendly, entertaining and love planning new activities. You take on adventure with excitement and enthusiasm. However, you often find predicable routines or chores boring and uninteresting. You are an optimist.

Less heathy seven parents have difficulty being present. You may find yourself longing for a day when your child can go skiing with you, but don’t get so caught up  in thinking about the future you miss the present. Remind yourself that quality time is more important than quantity time.

Your energy at times may overwhelm your child. Be focused and practice listening and mirroring your child. Your natural optimism may sometimes lead you to make excuses or appear insensitive.

Leo the Lion eight parents are assertive, protective, strong willed and sometimes even tough. Your mantra as as a parent is “Only the strong survive”. You love being powerful, the challenger and a boss. Often eight parents are self-made and expect the same from their children. You are impatient and independent. Eight parents are in the anger triad. They often project their anger outward, and are not afraid to take action or even wage war.

Eight parents can sometimes be rebellious and break the rules. Justice is critical to you. If someone upsets your child you will take charge.

Your child may sometimes find it hard to step out of your shadow. To sensitive children your strong energy may be experienced as intimidating or aggressive. The more heathy eight parent allows their child to see their vulnerability . Don’t take it as a threat to your authority if your child does not comply with your views and beliefs. Be careful not to dismiss children as weak or needy.

Elmer the Elephant Nine parents are typically very accepting, patient and nurturing parents. Sometimes you confuse and feel responsible for your child’s thoughts, feelings and urges as if they were your own. You learned at an early age that “going along to get along” is best.

Nine parents are humble. Nine parents like being part of a group. You know that expressing yourself may cause conflict so you often remain silent. As a result you may fail to express how you feel and can be indirect. Being the peacemaker of the enneagram you like things to be peaceful. To this end, you avoid conflict. Nine parents are also in the angry triad and can behave passive aggressively. Be aware when you are sulking and don’t let your passive aggressive behavior interfere with your parenting style.